I’m trying desperately to put distance between myself and my phone. I’ve developed a bad habit of opening my eyes, turning off my alarm, and immediately opening the brain-melting trifecta of applications: Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. I will then spend the following hour(s) oscillating between the three until they inevitably make me feel bad. I don’t think anyone benefits from consuming digital discourse while groggy, horizontal, and slack-jawed. Personally, it is turning me into a bitter hag by the time my feet hit the floor.
As it turns out, I have what critics are calling “An Addictive Personality.” If you ask my mother, she will tell you addiction runs on both sides of the family, so really, when you think about it, the whole situation was unavoidable. I am unfortunately addicted to consumption— I never know how or when to stop. A few years ago, this same tendency resulted in a Binge Eating Disorder diagnosis, which I am now in recovery from. But as it turns out, my desire to over-consume did not disappear; it just changed shapes.
I have tried and failed to Optimize My Life countless times over the years. Anyone who has tried to do the same knows it all begins with the Morning Routine. I’ve dabbled in journaling, yoga, mindfulness walks, running, no caffeine on an empty stomach…the list goes on. Some routines are good, but none of them last. I know myself well enough to know that I will only run when I feel spiritually called, which is not often, and if it is colder than 45 degrees, you can not make me go for a walk. I prefer to journal at night, and reading in the morning makes me sleepy (sometimes, it makes me go on my phone. I’M SORRY).
I also know that if I am “good” for four mornings in a row, on the fifth morning, I will feel that I deserve to return to my old ways and be “bad” again as a reward. And so, I will stay in bed scrolling, not really enjoying it but unwilling to stop. Turns out, that’s not very rewarding. The days I spend more time on my phone are always worse days. I end up exhausted and feeling like I have nothing to show for it, and then I cry when I remember that I still have to cook dinner.
The best thing that ever happened to my morning routine resulted from a conversation with my dear pal, Cara. They mentioned how they’d enjoyed listening to a morning radio show on a local station, WFMU. In an effort to find the station on our portable stereo, Sara landed on a different local station, WFUV. As it turns out, WFUV plays the exact kind of music I want to listen to between 6 and 10am on weekday mornings. Corny O’Connell spins an assortment of new and old alternative rock. Depending on the morning, I can hear Fleetwood Mac, Death Cab, Lucy Dacus, or Waxahatchee. Of all the different habits I have attempted to incorporate in the morning, listening to the radio has been my favorite.
Up until now, my relationship with the radio has been very limited. I don’t know how to drive, and my childhood home had no radio reception. In the car growing up, my parents were usually listening to the news or an audiobook—true torture for a middle schooler. The only exception was Sunday afternoons when my dad would turn on Fordham University Radio, which played music and news from Ireland between noon and 4 p.m., which, funny enough, is WFUV.
I can’t describe how stupid I feel recommending the radio as a 26-year-old. But hear me out! As a streaming service user, I am rarely surprised by the next song that comes on. Even if I listen to one of Spotify’s “For You” playlists or shuffle songs, it tends to play the same familiar tunes. There is joy in the unknown! I love making coffee and hearing a song I might not have otherwise heard today coming through the speakers. Yesterday, I turned on the radio and heard Lucy’s sweet voice singing I don’t wanna be funny anymore. A song I love but that I rarely put on. How wonderful!
Recently(ish), a video of a mother unwilling to part with her CD collection went viral. From behind the camera, the daughter urges her mother to use a streaming service. But her mother is adamant. She is unwilling to give up the re-discovery process that browsing allows, being reminded of a record and wanting to put it on rather than heading to the Spotify search bar with a song in mind. I feel a similar sense of re-discovery when Corny plays a song that I forgot I love. The other day, “Slip Away” by Perfume Genius came on, and suddenly, I was a gorgeous woman in a rom-com poorly dancing in the kitchen of her New York City apartment. Somebody get Lena Dunham on the line!
I am far from perfect and still spend plenty of mornings scrolling until I feel a deep sense of shame in my body, but when I turn on the radio instead, I am always rewarded. So shoutout to Corny O’Connell, non-commercial radio stations, and listening to friend’s recommendations!
Until next time <3